This is what happens when you let a toddler take pictures with the camera:
I love it, though. I save every picture Choo-choo takes, even the crooked ones of the floor or the ceiling. I especially love the ones that are taken not randomly but from his perspective. When he is actually looking at the screen and capturing what he sees.
I have been trying to apply this to my life. Capturing and remembering the moments I see, not just what I feel or what my depression tells me I feel. I want to recall the times when Choo-choo is blissfully happy as we play with his toys or take a walk to the park. I want to remember all the expressions on his little face, not only those he shows for the camera.
I hope when his is older, he will understand that I have been trying to shut the negative out and keep the positive, happy things in. I hope he knows that I have been doing the best I can and will continue to work on getting even better. I hope he knows despite all of my issues, I love him more than I could ever fully express.
For now, I keep trying to imprint our days in my brain. I know that right now, he still knows how much I love him. I tell him every day. He tells me he loves me, too, which means more to me than he will ever know ❤