I had a few conversations the other day, conversations that echoed thoughts and opinions I have heard since pregnancy and most especially since Choo-choo was born. These interactions with others included a common thread, a much loathed sentiment: “I think you’re doing great, BUT…”
There’s always a “but.” It can be as benign as “but I don’t think you see it that way.” Usually, though, it is along the lines of “but this is how/where/why you need to fix your parenting.”
I am well aware of how I might be screwing things up. I see every little moment that I suck as a parent. However, I also know that I am a good mom. I am not hurting my child or endangering him in any way. I tell him a thousand times a day how much I love him and how special he is. He is learning respect, kindness, and love from me. Frankly, I’m the best damn mom I can be right now, and I work every day at getting better.
I can understand the above sentiments coming from people who have never been where I am. It’s the most hurtful when those who know exactly what I’m going through pass judgment on how I am navigating all this. They seem to believe their wisdom from their own experiences will help me end my suffering.
While I fully respect and appreciate the concern and effort to save me from my own personal hell, in the end, I am not them. I will do my best to accept help and encouragement when I need it, but I have to find my own way to peace and happiness.