Sometimes, I really don’t know what I want to do or what I want to feel. Sometimes, I know what I want to feel, but my body disagrees. I often laugh then tears suddenly start pouring out of my eyes.
Not a normal laughing ’til I cry kind either. That kind of laugh-crying feels good down in the soul. What I’m talking about is full-on laughing then sobbing uncontrollably.
It most often happens when I am around Diesel. It also completely freaks him out. He never knows what to do. I can’t really help him, as I don’t know what to do any more than he does. I usually just ride it out and cry until the tears dry up.
While I am not sure if I’m the only one to experience this specific unexpected shift, I do know that I am very occasionally lucky enough to sense the change is about to happen. Of course, this is normally when Diesel is tickling me and the only way to stop him is kick him, which I’d rather avoid.
This gets me thinking about the topic of tickling, but that’s best discussed another time. Suffice it to say, if emotions were choices, made as easy as pushing a button, I think we all would press the “smile” or “laugh” every time.