What do dreams mean? Do they mean anything at all?
Often, my dreams take place in one of two locations: my parents’ current house (where they have lived since I was 13) in mostly quiet, forest-like woods with a long, winding gravel/dirt driveway and my grandparents’ old house (currently my bio dad’s house). The house that belonged to my grandparents has two separate staircases to go upstairs, a dark, kinda creepy basement (to a child anyway), and two large decorative block porches that I used to stand on and pretend they were verandas to a castle. I was usually a princess and often a bride on those porches.
Those two almost magical locations pop in my dreams so often that I can’t help but wonder why. My grandparents’ house was always mysterious to me, and my parents’ house was, of course, home. Diesel is often in my dreams as well, which tells me they aren’t simply about my childhood. I do sometimes dream about Choo-choo, but those dreams are usually about me having to protect him or keep him safe in some way.
Despite what some claim, I don’t believe there is one set of definitions for dreams or rules to define them. I used to have a dream dictionary as a teenager. It often made sense to me, but the answers were typically generic. I see it now as fairly similar to horoscopes: fun to read but not to be taken seriously.
One dream in particular that I had this last week really stuck with me. I can’t give all the details, but I can say that it was about someone I once thought I knew who.
In the dream, any time this person was around me, trying to be nice or trying to strike up a conversation with me, I looked them in the eye and said, “I hate you.” Three words, again and again. Diesel and Choo-choo were in the same dream. I did everything I could to keep them away from my old acquaintance. Diesel wasn’t too happy about my having any type of contact with this person either.
I woke up in a state of confusion. Why on earth would I dream about this person after so many years had passed since I knew them?
By the afternoon, I had an answer. You see, this person I thought I knew, many years after I last saw them, was arrested for something truly despicable. Something I fear for all children, especially my own.
I mentioned earlier this week about the recent news I’ve heard that spiked my anxiety. I know this is what led to the dream. My fear about everything in daily life spread to fears in my dreamland.
But there is more to it than that.
Talking about my anxieties and my fears has actually helped alleviate them to a degree. While they aren’t gone completely, I am so grateful that the anxieties have lessened. That odd, out of nowhere dream surprisingly helped alleviate my fears as well. I looked in the face of someone who represents what I fear and what I hate and shut them down.
I am fortunate to be able to do such a brave thing, even if it is only in a dream. That’s a step in the right direction. Besides, I don’t wish to do this in person if only to keep them away from me and my family. I see no need to have this person in my life ever again.
Because of all this, I am feeling more confident in my ability to fight my fears again. I feel more confident in recognizing my anxieties and squashing them before they try to take over my life.