New Year, same old me

New Year, same old me

Happy New Year, everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday! Did any of you celebrate the new year in a big way, or even in a little way?

As for us, well, Diesel worked, Choo-choo didn’t have any idea what the “new year” meant (even though I explained it to him), and I didn’t really care about the new year except for the hope that it wouldn’t be as stressful as the one that was going bye. Diesel and I shared a quick kiss at midnight, not long after he got home, and that’s all we did to acknowledge the coming of 2018.

I didn’t make any resolutions, either. I used to but never kept any of them. The thing is, I never liked making those resolutions. Often, I felt a lot of pressure to make one or ten. I have come to a point where I want to make changes for the better, like my health, but I am not going to set a specific date or deadline. I refuse to hate myself for abandoning yet another resolution.

But really, even with what I’d like to do differently, I am still the same old me. The changing of the clock from 11:59 PM December 31, 2017 to 12:00 AM January 1, 2018 did nothing to me personally except remind me I needed to go to bed. 2018 is still full of as much stress, toddler meltdowns, and chocolate eating as 2017 was. (And it hasn’t even been two full days!!!)

You know what, though?

I think I’m okay with not changing me, even despite the At least for now. I am going keep working on the same things I worked on last year, continuing as opposed to starting over.

My goodness, just the thought of starting over again makes my heart palpitate and my skin break out into a sweat. Saying I’m going to be a new me feels like saying all that progress was for nothing. I’m so not willing to do that.

I will, of course, keep you all updated as time goes on. I will also return to my regular posting of four days a week, starting tomorrow. (The Christmas holiday took a toll on all of us, leaving us exhausted and wiped out.)

 

Author: stepbackandbreathe33

I am a writer, mother, wife, and fighter in the battle against depression, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD.

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