Out of the ashes

It has been nearly a year since I took my very first post-high school class. It was an online, six week writing course. Not exactly on the path to a degree, but it was exactly what I needed. Taking that class was like dipping my toes into the pool of grown-up learning. I discovered that while I loved expanding my mind and talent, it was a bit of a shocker learning how to make time for class and assignments while also taking care of my son.

As a stay-at-home mom, I never had to balance out my time like that before. Choo-choo and Diesel were always my priorities, even while depression was ravaging my mind. Continue reading “Out of the ashes”

Like mother, like son

Choo-choo and I were playing with his blocks in the living room last night. We’d had a busy day, but it was quickly approaching bedtime. “Okay, sweetie,” I told him, “You’ve had your extra time to play, but now we need to pick this all up. We can play again tomorrow.”Like mother, like son

I began putting the blocks back in their container.

My son, meanwhile, panicked. His eyes grew wide and worried. Continue reading “Like mother, like son”

Giving in, not giving up

Please don’t hate me, you guys, but… I caved!

I gave Choo-choo something he wanted that I’d told him “no” about many times. But before you panic, it wasn’t anything dangerous or damaging. In fact, it was pretty much a non-issue I stood my ground against only because my original answer had been “no.”

Remember when I told you about Continue reading “Giving in, not giving up”

Holiday rush

Is the holiday rush starting to get to anyone else?

My anxiety has been creeping up thinking about Christmas arriving much sooner than I’d like. I am not one of those people who shops throughout the year. I save our money and start hitting the sales around holiday time. So I have been worrying about the presents I am buying not arriving on time. I’m also worried about not having enough time for everything.

Thanksgiving was a breeze compared with Christmas. I didn’t have to do very much for that day. Only a bit of cooking, really.

You know what, though? Continue reading “Holiday rush”

Progress, Progress, Progress!

You guys, two really amazing things happened this weekend!

First off, yesterday, Diesel, Choo-choo, and I went to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. I decided I wanted to try driving again, especially since my parents don’t live so far away that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. There was just one issue: Choo-choo was going to be in the car with us.

Many, many times have I sat in my therapist’s office in tears explaining to her my deep-seeded fears of driving while my son is in the car. I’ve had near panic attacks at the thought.

Progress, Progress, Progress!

But then I decided Continue reading “Progress, Progress, Progress!”

What dreams may come?

What do dreams mean? Do they mean anything at all?

What dreams may come?

Often, my dreams take place in one of two locations: my parents’ current house (where they have lived since I was 13) in mostly quiet, forest-like woods with a long, winding gravel/dirt driveway and my grandparents’ old house (currently my bio dad’s house). The house that belonged to my grandparents has two separate staircases to go upstairs, a dark, kinda creepy basement (to a child anyway), and Continue reading “What dreams may come?”

When anxiety rages but there is still music in your heart

 

Lately, my anxiety has been turning into anger/rage more than I care to admit.

But I’m admitting it because I think it is important to talk about this issue. Anxiety is so much more than simply feeling scared. It is an overwhelming, often all-consuming, sometimes paralyzing emotion. Anxiety can also manifest itself as anger and rage despite the fact that a lot of people still don’t either know or accept this.

When anxiety rages but there is still music in your heart Continue reading “When anxiety rages but there is still music in your heart”