Late night revelation

Asleep Woman Lying on Bed

My bed is calling to me right now. Choo-choo kept me up for two and a half hours in the middle of the night. No matter how many times I rocked him, sang to him, cuddled with him, and gave him hugs and kisses, he just wouldn’t lie in his bed for longer than ten or so minutes without yelling for me again.

I was angry and frustrated about it. I mean, come on. He deprived me of nearly three hours of desperately needed sleep.

Then I started to think. Continue reading “Late night revelation”

Bad night in dreamland

Choo-choo woke up in the middle of the night again.

A small part of me was instantly annoyed. I mean, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to rock. I didn’t want to answer a million questions. I just wanted to sleep. The rest of me worried why he was crying as in sobbing and not just whining or calling out to me like normal. Continue reading “Bad night in dreamland”

Waking up to face the day

frame-with-grasschamomiles-and-butterflies_fJzvIALO_LGood Monday Morning!

I am not much of a morning person. At all. Just about anyone who knows me can attest to that. I turn off my alarms or ignore them. I snap at people who try to wake me up, even if they are being super nice about it. Diesel used to tell me that I often growled at him.

You read that right. “Growled.” Continue reading “Waking up to face the day”

So long to a tradition

Diesel and I were discussing our next vacation the other day. If we could fit another trip in or not. We came to the sad conclusion that we probably won’t be able to camp anymore this year.

Well, more sad for him than me. If you recall, we had quite a few miserable, disastrous vacations. Sure, we had some not quite so bad trips, too. I just feel like I am over this whole “camping with a toddler who doesn’t want to sleep at night” thing. Mama needs her sleep too much for that.

We used to camp in the autumn all the time, Diesel and I. We had favorite spots picked out and Continue reading “So long to a tradition”

Being mindful of my attitudes

So, I told you yesterday about my fun-filled day with Choo-choo. I thought for sure that since we had such a great day, we would naturally have a great night, too.

No such luck.

Yep. We had another long night. Choo-choo woke up and called to me 15 times throughout the night, from midnight to just after 6 AM. I’m not even kidding. I wish I were.

The thing about long, sleepless nights while battling depression is that no sleep equals no peace of mind. Continue reading “Being mindful of my attitudes”

My achy, break-y body

This is what I have looked like recently: Depressed business woman

Eyes closed, hands on temples, desperate for my headaches to disappear. A combination of stress and lack of sleep have ravaged my body. I am achy and sore from my feet and legs up my back to my neck to seemingly no end.

Once Choo-choo started waking up in the middle of the night again, I knew this was coming. There was not a doubt in my mind that all that sleep deprivation was going to wreak havoc on my body.

I just wish I’d realized how bad it was going to be. Continue reading “My achy, break-y body”

One of those nights…

Early Morning Alarm Call At Three AMMy body aches. My voice is a bit hoarse. My stomach churns with nausea. My eyes want to close and stay that way for a while. I feel hung-over, in an unpleasant, I didn’t even get to enjoy what led me here kind of way. Continue reading “One of those nights…”